Dark Soujs 3 Commentary

“Dark Souls III.” This sounds mysterious. – I hear this is like the hardest game that you can play. – It’s awesome, but I know I’m gonna fail so bad. There’s Dark Souls, and then there’s Bloodborne. I didn’t beat either one of them.

I rage-quit. – I feel like I heard of this game, but I’ve never played it. But– did I play it?

I think I did. Was this not the game with the huge thing in it that you had to kill that took me, like, 17,000 tries? Oh cool, okay. So it was hard. – Dark Souls is known to be some of the hardest, most difficult, challenging video games right now. – Recently I started getting into it.

This game is about overcoming ultimately. Once you overcome, that’s the gratification of this game. – (narrator) Only, in truth… – This looks like Lord of the Rings. – (narrator) The Lords will abandon their thrones.

– This is really pretty animation. – (narrator) And the Unkindled will rise. – “Unkindled.”

Is that the people who are dead? Is that me? Am I a dead person again? I was dead in the last game. – (narrator) Nameless, accursed Undead, unfit even to be cinder. – Okay, this cinder– is that– that’s the fire people.

– (narrator) And so it is… – I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s very dramatic. – (narrator) …that ash seeketh embers. – That’s it?

I feel like I got nothing from that. – I feel like she’s just spitting nonsense out there just to make it seem cool. – So poetic, yet again, no idea what you’re saying.

But some cool shot of a knight. And now here we go: character creation. – Oh, that’s right!

I get to make my character! Okay! Do I get to make my name up?

– “Baws” with one S, “Slayer86.” – I can’t fail it his name’s batman, right? – “Darth Vader” for funsies.

– Dope. – “Pyromancer”? That’s me. I’m a pyromaniac.

– Darth Vader’s like a knight- looking dude, a good knight. – You know what? I think I’m gonna stick with the knight.

– Warrior. He looks like he won’t get killed. – I’m diggin’ the warrior look. – Face presets. Uh, Darth Vader’s, like, really screwed up.

Like, you know, ’cause he got burned. – Oh wow. I can be like– Whoa! That is master granny right there. I gotta go with this one.

– Burly everywhere. Very burly. Me, CrossFit Games. – I think I’m just gonna be burly. I’ve always wanted to be a big burly man. – This is Bawslayer86 coming to slay your bosses granny style.

– (eagerly) Let’s do this. – Okay. Great way to start the game: in a graveyard.

– Wakey-wakey. – Why am I just chilling on the ground? What’s going on? Was that really necessary? Was that cutscene really necessary? Oh.

I’m in. – Oh, this little things, right? The little tutorial things. Okay.

– This thing. I’ll read this message. “Regular attack.” And that’s the top, the R. Okay.

– The regular attack is R1. We got all that in check. – “Strong attack.” (ax strikes) (gruffly) Oh yeah! – “Target lock release.”

Okay, so a little ball of light means I have targeted him. (footsteps splash) (weapons striking) (enemy croaks) – Okay, I think I– oh, I killed it, right? – What’s up? Oh no, oh no!

Get outta here, bitch! – Oh, that kinda came quicker than I thought it was going to. Didn’t really think it was going to run at me. I kinda thought I’d have time to read whatever it was gonna say. Oh cool.

So give me the tip after it’s already killed me. – Backstep and roll? All right. – “Move: dash.” Okay. Aha.

– Let’s collect this thing, Soul of a Deserted Corpse, you know? Get souls. That’s the currency in this game. – “Soul of a Deserted Corpse.” Yes.

Well, I got what I wanted. I’m going home. – Oh snap. Get outta here! Suck it!

(growls) – Oh great. How came they can get their thing swinging so much quicker than I can? Also, I should probably not be using only strong attack. I feel like that’s maybe a bad idea. – That’s a mystical orb. Ooh, it’s a flask.

– Got it. Oh, okay. “Behind an enemy: critical hit.” – Okay. So if I sneak up behind this guy, like, ♪ (vocalizing Jaws theme) ♪ – Today we’re stabbing undead soulless creatures in the back. You’ll see in its natural habitat, it’s kinda crying.

We’re gonna make it happy by killing it. All right. Here we go. All right, see it? He’s not crying anymore.

That’s how we do things in Dark Souls III. (sword squelches) – (gloatingly) Suck it! That’s the one. (chuckles) – So sneak up behind everyone.

I should’ve been the assassin. If I would’ve known that there was critical strikes, I should’ve been the assassin. That would’ve been easy, just, like, go behind it. (startled) Oh! Okay.

– Oh shit. (fireball whooshes by) Gonna try and do that? (sharply) Bitch! (enemy brays) (ax strikes) – I got him, great. (enemy snarls) Oh, okay. It doesn’t really take that much to kill them.

So I really didn’t need to be doing those strong attacks. – “Change weapons and toggle items.” Wait, I kinda want that.

I don’t have weapons to change, right? I mean, I have what I have. – Change weapons.

Or, change items is down. We’re gonna stick with Estus Flask, ’cause that gives us health. – I’ll try that. Let’s see. Let’s just put that into practice. Okay.

– Okay. Let’s try not to fall off this cliff. – Now, the other thing I remember about these games is falling off cliffs sucks. – All right. Well, I found something.

“Rest at bonfire: restore HP and Estus.” – Is this a safe point? I think this is a safe point. – ♪ Light it up, up, up, light it up, up, up ♪ ♪ I’m on fire!

♪ – Cool. Sure, I’ll rest at the bonfire. – Got to rest to get your health back and your Estus Flasks back.

It’s like your checkpoint. – No one’s down there. Oh. Yo, let’s go, fam. Let’s go.

Come at me. – Let’s just go open face. Let’s go.

(sword impacting) World star! World star! (in game: grunting) – Ugh. (sword impales, enemy croaks) Okay. (body thumps) – Are they not going to get up? Oh, no, they’re gonna get up.

(sword striking, enemies croaking) – Yo. I kinda feel bad for killing those guys. They’re just kinda chillin’ there. – “While dashing, jump.” L3 is to jump? That is the worst button layout I’ve ever… All right.

(grunts) Let– Didn’t do anything. – All right. So while falling, click R1 for plunging attack. I’ve never been good with the timings on these.

So forgive me if I screw this up. (sword striking) There we go. Okay. I didn’t do too bad that time. – Is there somebody down here?

(whispering) Oh there is. Yes. (swift attacking, enemy croaks) It’s like Assassin’s Creed.

– Take that to the bank. Oh. With the barrel roll. Oh snap!

– Oh. Yeah, let’s go. (grunts) (grunting) Psyche! Yeah! That’s right.

Easy. Easy money. – Oh my god, no. Why is– why?

That’s not even necessary in the slightest. – Oh. Is that a guy? Oh no. I hope it doesn’t kill me.

– (casually) Yo, just another guard. I’m a skeleton just walking in here. Don’t mind me. – That guy’s totally gonna come to life in, like, two seconds. (inhales deeply) – It’s like this guy’s bowing to me, ’cause he knows not to mess with Darth Vader, all right.

– Recover sword. Ohh. (sword squelches as it’s retrieved) Oh. How would there still be blood? What is that thing coming out of its back? Oh.

Nope. I freaking knew it. – Ooh. Remove sword.

This is a boss. Or do I get that sword? Oh. No. It’s a boss.

– What? I thought I was gonna get a new weapon for a second. Oh shit. – Oh shoot. Do I have to now fight this thing?

Oh shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. Oh, I’m gonna so die. – Okay.

All right, all right. – Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap. No. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Okay. – All right. Looks like there’s only one way out of this.

Aah. Attack. Damn it, damn it. (blood squelching) – (wearily) Please, let me win. You probably win at everything. Look how big you are.

– Oh. (gasps) Dang it. Okay. I need to use the thing. (strained) Go.

Go. No. (gasps) Use this. Thank you. – Now I’m gonna turn around.

Okay, no, we should probably roll. Okay. Okay.

I don’t know why I did that. I don’t know what I’m doing. Stop that.

Stop that. Stop that. What did I just do? Stop it. Okay, you know what?

Distance. Distance. Oh, sweet Jesus.

(chuckles silently) I was flustered. (loud crashing, player grunts) – No. Aah. Grab the thing.

AAAAHHH!! No, no, no, no, no! I’m, like, almost dead, if not already. I wasn’t gonna beat that thing. Are you kidding me?

There’s no way I could’ve done that. – My strategy is to not die. And roll, roll a bunch. – Wait for him to lunge. Boom. (staccato) Boom!

Boom! Guh! No!

(gasps) What is that?! What is that? Get away from me!! – Get outta here. (perturbed) Oh.

Ew. What is happening right now? I don’t know where I am. I am definitely dead.

(scoffs) ♪ (dramatic cantata) ♪ – Oh. What the hell is that? What the hell is that? What the hell is that? (sighs deeply) God damn it!

God damn it! (growls fiercely) – I’m so close to dying. Run! Run! Oh, and I’m dead. Yo, honestly, that wasn’t that bad for the first time, I feel like.

– Are we going again? Am I gonna take him out? I’m gonna take him out. – And I have to kill all these guys again? (enemy snarls) – All right. – Yo, I heard you like plunging attacks.

Let’s go. (grunts) That’s right. Yo, I heard you like to miss your arrows. Boom.

And get rekt. (grunts) Yeah, that’s right. – Whoa, why is that– Oh, that’s right. ‘Cause I died in there. So I have to do that thing.

– No button-mashing. It’s a bad strategy. It’s not gonna work in this game. – I’m gonna dodge him for the first two. And then when he backs off, I’m gonna swing. And then I’ll do the little circle-press button.

“Traverse the fog.” ♪ (sweeping music) ♪ Okay. Oh, it’s already alive this time.

That’s not fun. – Wait. Why didn’t I have to do that before? Oh. Oh. He’s already– he’s already on me.

– Okay. Oh, he’s awake already. Okay. Hey.

– (sulkily) Oh, I want to get out of here. I don’t like it. I want to run away.

– I know what I did wrong the first time. I know how to do it this time. – Yo! (crashing) Yo. Come on, fam.

Get– Oh my. I’m already gonna have to use a potion. – Here he comes. Okay, he’s gonna jump. Come on.

Okay. Do the thing, do the thing. Stab him. Get the hell out of the way. Get the hell out of the way.

– Oh god. Oh god, oh god. That was a waste of an Estus Flask. – Jump on me. Let’s go. ♪ (music building) ♪ Critical strike.

Let’s go. Come on. Okay, I’m doing a lot better this time.

I still have a potion left and whatever that green thing is. I’m hoping it’s– oh, never mind. (player grunts) – I am almost dying. Aah. Dodge this, dodge this. Dodge this, dodge this.

What is that? Aah. (resigned) I died again. – Ooh. (gasping) Oh my god. Oh, come on.

I didn’t have a chance to get up. This is way harder than it looks. – What are you? Why are you so mean to me? Like, what did I ever do?

I don’t understand. That’s what I don’t get. (scoffs) – All right. (guffaws) (gasps) Arrgh. Oh. – Let’s, uh, get a– Oh!

(laughs giddily) Okay. Oh, that was, uh… uh… ’tis but a scratch. No problem. I got this. I got this, you guys.

– What is going on? Health, health, health, health. Get this. I got a soul. I also died. – I’d like to think in my heart.

I truly believe that I can do this. But the rest of me is saying, “No, you don’t.” (giggles) – Tip one: try not to die. – (Finebros) So since you picked the pyromancer, you can use L1 to throw fire. (fireball whooshes) – Oh, that’s helpful.

You couldn’t tell me that at first? Like, “First things first, you can throw fire.” – It’s not fair that they put those dudes in the beginning that are all easy. And then you get all this confidence, like, “Yeah, I can do this.”

And then they throw this guy at you. – Let’s make them feel really good about themselves by killing these skeleton sorcerers and then– Oh hey, I got a [bleep] great idea, Jim. Let’s just throw in this big-ass knight with a 20-foot spear that kills you in three hits. Hey, that’s a great idea. The gamers are gonna love that. – That didn’t work out well.

I was like, “It’s gonna kill him right now. I’m dead.” Roll away. Roll away! That’s not rolling.

You’re not rolling. I said roll. Roll. I want to get past this dumb bitch, but it’s taking forever.

– I’m trying to just go by this guy. I don’t care about– this time– Okay, now go in and go at him. Go at him, go at him. Okay.

Now go back. Go back, go back, go back. Go back. Okay. Okay. Go back, go back, go back, go back, go back.

– This just feels… Okay. A little way. (quietly) Oh, crap. Get out of the way.

Get out of the way. Oh no, come on. See? It’s just mean.

And it would take a quarter of his life off. (sword clashing) – Getting greedy with it. Getting greedy! – Oh god.

Oh god. Oh god. Run away. Run away.

– All right, we’re chilling. We’re chilling, we’re chilling. We’re chilling, we’re chilling. Why am I… (chuckling) All right!

We’re playing that game, huh? – Why can’t I get away from him? (scythe crashes) Okay, I did it that time. Now I did. (frustrated) Oh my god!

Did I already die?! (grumbles deeply) Yeah, I remember this game. (chuckles) – Come on. Oh my! He’s so fast!

I died. Screw this game! – I’m trying to get behind this guy, and he just keeps moving. Oh, come on, dude. Can you just stop with the twirls?

Like, and stop– What the hell is this? Man, eff this guy so hard. – Go back. And then go at him, go at him, go at him. Go at him!

Go at him! Aah, no no no! Back back back! No, drink this thing. Drink the thing.

Drink the thing. Go back! Oh my gosh. You’re not going fast enough. Okay, now I got to go forward and… hit the thing! Why are you moving so quickly?

Gosh! Oh, I died. That’s the best I’ve done so far though. That’s as good as we’re gonna go.

Straight up the most stressful thing I’ve had to experience. – Oh. Get him while he’s down. Come on, Sally!

It’s like a giant hand. Oh god. Take care of your… health!

(gasps deeply) ♪ (dramatic cantata) ♪ (silence) (furiously) OH MY GOD!!! (sword clanging) – Get a little wind-up. (squelch) Oh. Dang. – No.

Get– Roll away, you dumb whore! How did this game get three times made? Like, how are there three versions of this? How– how? How? “Did you like the game?”

No. (chuckles) Yeah, I’m done. ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ – [Bleep].

Get up. Seriously. (sighs) (mouth squeaks) (titters) (sighs deeply) Okay.

Okay. I’m the chosen one, damn it. I should’ve beat this guy, like, 30 minutes ago. – Go!

Get him! Get him! Get him!

Get him! Get him! Get him!

Get him! (fiercely) Get him! Get him! No! I’m outta mana– er, uh, stamina. Aah!

(crush!) – Okay. It almost me. Nice. ♪ (music swelling) ♪ – Die, bitch. Die, bitch.

– I don’t know what he turned into, but it looks like something out of Resident Evil. And it just– why? Where’s my power? – Come on.

Come on. Just– just do damage. Just do damage! (gasps) – That’s what I’m [bleep] talking about, mother[bleep]. (snickering) (thug-like) Yeah!

– Okay. We’re almost there. Just gotta stay calm. There we go. He is done. (sighs in relief) All right.

Yeah. Ain’t no thing for Vader, you guys. Come on, power of the Dark Side. – I don’t have any more flask.

This is bullshit, Charles. I know your name’s not Charles. But it’s easier to say than your real… (blast) Praise the sun! Praise the mothereffing sun.

– Come on. Last attack. (gruffly) Let’s go! Let’s go! (gasps) I need a minute. Got him!

YEAH! Easy! Easy! Not even a problem. Bawslayer86. Let’s go, Granny!

Come on! – Huh! Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about. – (softly) Yes!

Yes, yes, yes, yes. – He’s dead. This game is stupid. I hate it. [Bleep] you, Dark Souls.

Piece of shit. – How do people do this? I’m genuinely curious. (sarcastically) Like, good for you. Good for you.

– It can be very frustrating at times. But when you overcome, it’s really– you know? That satisfaction you don’t really get in any other game.

– It’s one of those games that really just pisses you off the whole time until you have a victory. Then you feel great. Like, you just got a promotion or something.

(chuckles) Like, I feel good at life. – Thanks for watching this episode of Gaming on the React channel. – Go ahead and hit that Like button. Can’t be that hard. – Let us know in the comments what games we should try next. – Subscribe!

New Gaming episodes every Sunday. – Bye, guys! ♪ (old-school video game music) ♪

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